Lewis Black (Wikipedia’s article), famed comedian, swears a lot. YouTube user DevlJoe has combined every swear from Mr. Black’s first four albums into a single audio track. If you need your day turned around, this is just the thing.
Holy hell could I use a massage. When I get back to Vegas, I’m getting a big woman with strong hands to spend at least an hour hammering on just my back and shoulders. Minimum. Maybe twice.
I’ve opted to go back to using the default theme for this website. Something about not having the time nor the interest to really hack together my own like I had been… you know how it goes. This one is actually put together by professionals and has a lot of features I’m too apathetic about to recreate in my own theme. So here ya’ go. I do need to hack it up a bit to make the photos show properly, though. So I’ll be working that out shortly. It seems that is most visited part of the site. Now I just need to buy a new camera…
Why do all traffic cops ask this question? Does my answer matter AT ALL?
Anyone familiar with my driving history knows I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with traffic cops. Over the last twelve years of driving I’ve amassed a pretty good record. If I recall correctly, I’ve been cited eleven or twelve times and that record goes something like this:
- at least four speeding tickets
- one ticket for “unsafe turning movement”
- one illegal right turn
- one ticket for running a red light (on accident)
- one low speed collision
- three or four others that I’ve forgotten
This doesn’t include the numerous other instances I’ve been pulled over and received a warning. That list would include five other times I was speeding, once when I didn’t signal a lane change and ultimately was given a field sobriety test on the highway just to be sure, a time when I rolled three stop signs in a row in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and once where I almost had the off-duty officer (in a Hawaiian shirt nonetheless) draw his weapon ’cause I had an itch I scratched without telling him ahead of time.
I’ve gone to traffic school three times in person and four times online (which I “hacked” and skipped right to the end). I’ve had to plead guilty in front of a judge… twice. It’s cost me a little over $1,500 or so over the last twelve years, but I’ve never had a point on my license. I’ll repeat that. Not once has the state had any dirt on me and my insurance rate hasn’t gone up… well, maybe after the low-speed accident, but that was negligible. Well, it’s time to add another speeding ticket to the list… this one actually impacting me somewhat significantly. Here’s the story. (more…)